Hashing in East Java

By Bo derek

There is an activity in Surabaya called a Hash,
And lots of people go each week to a place described more or less accurately in Trash.
There, a trail is set by Hares,
And the Hash is a sort of game, Like Hunt the Slipper, or Musical Chairs.
The others, called Harriers, have to follow the trail,
Even young kids like All Talk, or old fogies like Flipper, who is frail.
The trail is barred and circled,
And every so often the hounds lose it and get themselves hopelessly berkled.
Particularly people like Gritty Balls who tries to be clever
And short cuts, forgetting that you must never ever
Get off the paper, for then
You may end up in some other kebupaten.
The end of the trail is called the Down Down,
And enough beer is drunk there to make a member of AA pout and frown,
Because if the hashers are in luck,
At the Down Down is parked a friendly white Beer Bintang truck.
(But of course, luck really plays no part,
because if the truck didn't turn up, no Hasher would even start!
There was only one exception to this binder
And no one who ran in that Hash wants a reminder!)
At last, when the Hashmaster is sure everyone is there,
A horn is blown, he calls out "Circle up," and everyone forms a square.
Now a circle is round, you will remember,
But the only time they got it right was last August, or maybe it was September.
They then sing the Hash Song,
And the Mistress of Music tries hard to get everyone to sing along.
The first called into the circle are the hares,
And there can be as many as five, but they often come in pairs.
And they have to drink a down down,
Which means they have, without taking a breath, to scull 10oz of liquid, colored clear or cola or brown.
Runners who come for the first time
Also get down downs, but they have to be assured it is an honour, not a crime,
Otherwise they might be offended,
And their hashing career could no sooner have started than it ended.
And when the down downs are done,
All the Hashers get into vehicles and drive off into the setting sun.
And that's all in forty lines that I can tell you about the Hash,
And if I get this published, I just hope I'm not sued for plagiarism by Ogden Nash.
So come on fellows, as one Harriette was heard to say, if you want some passion,
You'd better come hashin'.